Welcome to The Lantern Project

The Lantern Project was established in 2003 to provide help and support for survivors of sexual abuse. Since then, we have supported thousands of survivors through our web site, our publications and our counselling facility in Wirral.  Our address is 168, Seabank Road, Wallasey, Wirral CH45 1HG. You can contact us by e-mail, or click the ‘Contact Us’ link on our this web site. You can also phone us on: 0151 630 6956. Please leave a message if we are not able to take your call at the time, and we will call you back as soon as we are able to. Our email address is: lanternproject@yahoo.co.uk.

More Info

Book Store

  • The Devil’s Advocate – Child abuse and the men in black
  • Recovering from the impact of sexual abuse
  • Understanding and Treating The Life-Long Consequences of Childhood Sexual Abuse
  • Picking Up The Pieces
  • Conspiracy of Faith – Fighting for Justice after Child Abuse
  • Proud To Be Me
  • “Dirty Little Bastard” by Alan Wilson
  • Proud To Be Me II
  • A taste of the Punjab

WELCOME: If you were sexually abused during your childhood, or perhaps you have been abused later in your life, or you know someone else who has been sexually abused, you will find the information on this site helpful.

The 'Library' link at the top of the page takes you to a section that contains a range of information, including key facts and figures about child abuse, together with helpful information on how to cope with the impact and problems it causes. You will find more information located in the 'Survivors Forum', which you can access by clicking on the 'Survivors Forum' link at the top of this page.

You can also leave a message in the 'Survivors Forum', or ask questions and seek help from other survivors. If you want to do this, complete the registration procedure, which is very simple. You don't need to use your real name to do this, so your contact details are completely safe.

The 'Books Store' section includes two helpful guides, 'Proud To Be Me' and 'Proud To Be Me II', which you can read in full by downloading the PDF version of the books, at no charge. If you want to purchase any of the books in the book store, simply click on the 'Buy Now' button under each book, and complete the PayPal box. We will send you the book you have ordered by next-day post.

The 'Video' section contains films we have made to help people understand more about the harm sexual abuse does, and how you can recover from the problems it causes. The film entitled 'There's Something I need to Tell You', has subtitles and a sign language, for anyone with a hearing disability.

A few words of caution: Before you begin to look at any of the information on this web site, you need to prepare yourself for the possibility that you may find some of it very painful. The best way to prepare yourself is to ask someone you trust to sit with you while you look at the material. If you can't do that, for whatever reason, the next best thing is to think of something that makes you feel safe or happy or both, such as a pet or a loved one. This image will be your ‘rescue image'. Then, as you work your way through the site, if anything you read triggers painful memories or makes you feel uncomfortable in any way, stop - look away from the screen - close your eyes and think hard about your rescue image. In a few moments, you will feel safe again. Then take a rest from the site for a while and come back to it later. It will still be here!

WHY I SET UP THIS WEB SITE:  My name is Graham  Wilmer. I was born in Bedford, England in 1951. I was sexually abused by a teacher at the Salesian College in Chertsey, Surrey, an independent Catholic grammar school for boys, run by the Salesians of Don Bosco.

The abuse began in 1966 when I was just 13, and went on for nearly two years until I finally told the school authorities what was happening to me. Instead of helping me, the head of the Salesians in Britain at the time, Fr George Williams, interviewed me and swore me to silence. He then moved the teacher, Hugh Madley, to the Salesian College in Battersea.

I was left to fend for myself without any support from the school. Neither my parents nor the police were told. The sexual and emotional abuse I suffered, coupled with the school's failure to protect me when I sought their help, resulted in the collapse of my education and the onset of serious psychological problems, which fundamentally damaged my development as an individual, leading me into a spiral of decline that manifested itself in a range of harmful behaviours including sex addiction, alcohol and drug abuse and self-harm.

I left school without any qualifications, despite having been an above average student in the years before the abuse began, and found it difficult to settle in any job for very long, always running away when things challenged me. It was also hard to form lasting relationships, emotion being something I found impossible to share. I tried to pretend that it had never happened by burying the memories deep in my mind, and for the next 30 or so years, I stumbled on through life, but the legacy of guilt, confusion and anger was never far from the surface.

Then, in 1995, the hidden memories began to re-emerge. A trickle at first, then more, and more, each time becoming sharper in focus and more detailed. They pervaded my mind during every moment of every day, and haunted my dreams at night.

Eventually, at the beginning of 1997, I broke down, unable to cope with the force of these awful images, which totally overwhelmed me and took me to the brink of self-destruction. I was lucky though, I had someone who stood by me. She looked after me while I tried to find the support and counselling that I needed, and I survived.

But finding that help was not easy as there was no central place to go to get advice, let alone help. So, to help other victims of abuse find the help they need more easily, I set up the Lantern Project and this web site.

I have also written two books about what happened to me, and how I learnt to cope. The first, which is called Survivor - The long journey back from abuse, was published under my pen name, Peter Andrews, on 1st September 2004 by Inspire. My second book, which is called Conspiracy of Faith, is written under my own name and tells the story of how I tracked down my abuser and brought him before the courts. It was published on 22nd February, 2007 by Lutterworth Press. I have also written a number of other books, with the help of other survivors, which contain lots of helpful information for victims and professionals alike. You can review these  in the 'Book Store', above.

The road to recovery from sexual abuse is a long and sometimes difficult journey, but it doesn't have to be a race. You should take your time and go at your own speed. What you will need to begin with is a map that tells you something about what you can expect to experience on the way, and how to deal with those experiences when they happen. The survival guide I have written 'Picking up the pieces' is that map, and much of what is contained in the guide is also contained here on this web site, which hopefully answers most of the questions victims need to ask. If you have any specific questions you would like to ask, or you want to talk to a counsellor here at the project, fill out the 'Contact Us' box at the top of the page, and we will get back to you. I hope and pray you will find some comfort and support here. Be brave; you are not alone and you can survive.

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